The I-Feel-Guilty Box

As the marketing team at Parikrma prepared to go out for Change your world program campaign, a box caught my attention - “The I-Feel-Guilty Box”. It reminded me of a conversation I had had with one of our donors, back in the day when I was at Yahoo! raising funds for YEFI. “I donate to ease my guilt”, said the donor. At that time I did not think much of it. Looking at this box made me realize that the Guilt-riddance angle is perhaps more common than I earlier imagined.

But what is giving rise to this guilt? My friend at Yahoo explained that it was the hefty salary we enjoy. But is that it? A closer examination of my life helped me identify a possible explanation. My conclusion is that it’s too hefty too soon.

It was not too long ago that my parents took me to Shanti Sagar, as part of our Sunday outing. Eating out even once a week considered rather extravagant in our social circles. Starters and desserts were reserved only for very special occasions like birthdays. New clothes were reserved for birthdays or Diwalis – we had to pick one occasion each year. And here I am, using terms like “retail therapy” and “Beaujolais” in everyday conversation – terms my parents would deem expensive just to teach to us.

My life has changed. The change stares at my face everytime I watch my mother buy peas from the vendor under the flyover because it’s is Rs.2 cheaper than the vendor closer to home. The change is drastic and our parents are constant reminders of where we come from. I can imagine change, so dramatic, perhaps fostering guilt.

I do not see evidence of such change when I observe my mother and her mother. So is such change between generations unique to our generation? If yes, would the guilt disappear in years to come? If the guilt disappeared, then would “The I-feel-guilty box” remain empty?


There is another box that the marketing team uses. It’s “The I-Want-Real-Change Box”. The Parikrma team has been telling me that while fewer people perhaps use the I-Want-Real-Change, the use the I-feel-guilty box might not be sustainable. I now get why they spend so much energy on getting donors to understand how Parikrma brings about real change in the lives of these children. It’s not just about getting donations. It’s about the donor getting it, really getting it!